Stephanie's thoughts:
“Getting the view of man right” p. 26-27
1. The quote by Charles Williams about a Christian’s understanding of the heinousness of sin and its power to corrupt every view of man, society, counseling and the Evangelist’s job.
When I counsel someone or seek to instruct my children, it seems that the place I typically start (right or wrong) is “What is the sin issue?” Until that question is answered there cannot be a true diagnosis or real change implemented.
My sin often corrupts my view of myself, the depth of my sin and even my own understanding of the depth of sin in someone else’s life…like Madeline or Mason or Jay. It’s difficult to live so closely with someone and still see clearly, not being blinded by either love or bitterness.
“Have it your way” p. 34
2. “The Devil did not tempt Adam and Eve to steal, to lie, to kill, to commit adultery; he tempted them to live independent of God.”
All women rebel at the idea of obedience to their husband. It grates against our spirit. It is our curse to desire our husband’s authority and position of headship. We want to live independent of him because his restrictions are confining, not comforting, so we selfishly think.
When I refuse to own up to my sins, or even shortcomings, before Jay, it is, at its heart, an unwillingness to be dependent on him. I do not want to admit I am weak or in need of more leadership. I will always choose the path of less leadership.
“The flesh defiles man” p. 38
3. “How frequently do we rush through our day making decision after decision, touching lives in this way or that, with no thought of what corruption has tainted those decisions? Are they decisions that ‘cannot please God’? How have we defiled those with whom we have companied?”
I think it would be impossible to stop before making every decision in order to give it a full “think through”. I believe God is gracious and allows us to live freely and wisely, making decisions here and there, but requiring that we be spiritually prepared for the implications of those decisions.
If I allow Madeline to stay up late one night and then scold her for being overly emotional the next day or two, I did not bear the responsibility of the decision I made on her behalf. Or if I choose not to clean my house and instead go to Target to get something minor and end up walking around for an hour, that decision is tainted with the sin of procrastination and laziness. If I choose to talk in frustration about my husband or children to others, I probably corrupted them with poor thoughts of my family as well as defamed my dear husband in front of them. It might even cause them to think poorly of their family or make them feel angry with mine for treating me “unfairly”.
“The flesh destroys man” p. 42
4. “We ought to pray, ‘Dear God, limit me, bind me, restrict me, Do whatever you have to, but please don’t let me have my own way.’”
Ouch. How often I want to believe that my way is God’s way. But my ways are not His ways, my thoughts are not His thoughts. Even at their most holiest, my ways and thoughts are still not aligned with His and are often contrary to what He would think.
This makes Scriptures that instructs me to say, “If the Lord wills”, or “If this is pleasing to God” more relevant and powerful. If I want something that is contrary to His will, then I will be having my own way…and that can only lead to hardship and heartache. Following Jay’s lead on many issues as well as leaning on a multitude of counselors is a good buffer from my erring in my requests.
“Can’t stand the sight of blood?” p. 45
5. Instead of shielding a child or fellow believer from the consequences of his wrong choices, parents and others who are attempting to help him must not put themselves at cross-purposes to what God is doing in the situation. There will be no biblical change in the one we are trying to help unless he humbles himself when God exposes his sin.”
I am a people pleaser. I feel guilty when I am able to help someone in need and cannot. It causes me anger when Jay puts restrictions on me when I’m seeking to help others. I must realize that Jay’s restrictions may be the Lord’s keeping me from shielding someone who needs to experience God’s pruning or discipline.
I often try to play the mediator between my family and Jay. I feel stuck in the middle when either side has a complaint about the other. I try to patch it up or smooth it over for everyone. I feel guilty by saying to the offended/frustrated party, “If you feel that way, please go and speak to him/her. By telling me you are putting me in the middle and tempting me to be frustrated or angry when I’ve not been offended.” I cannot be in the middle; I am on the side of my husband, even if that means hurting my family. God will bless that position because He made me to be one flesh with Jay, not them.
