Helpmeet--Ch. 15 & 16; Jan-Maree

I am enjoying this section of the book with all it's micro specifics!

CH. 15: To Be Sober
As we know, Debi is examining Titus 2:3-5 KJV verses in these next several chapters in the book.

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

I am thankful for her time in words with the definition of 'blaspheme'. It made it real for me, not just cursing or swearing or anger towards the Holy Spirit, but also putting oneself above God, either by what you say or by what you do. Using one of the links that Jessica posted back in April.

blaspheme BLASPHE'ME, v.t. [Gr. The first syllable is the same as in blame, blasme, denoting injury; L. loedo, loesus; The last syllable is the Gr.,to speak.] 1. To speak of the Supreme Being in terms of impious irreverence; to revile or speak reproachfully of God, or the Holy Spirit. 1 Kings 21. Mark 3. 2. To speak evil of; to utter abuse or calumny against; to speak reproachfully of. BLASPHE'ME, v.i. To utter blasphemy. He that shall blaspheme against the Holy Spirit shall not be forgiven. Mark 3. 1. To arrogate the prerogatives of God. This man blasphemeth. Who can forgive sins but God? Math.9. Mark 2.

blasphemer BLASPHE'MER, n. One who blasphemes; one who speaks of God in impious and irreverent terms. 1 Tim.1.

Specifically in this chapter, I truly enjoyed the practical tips that she shares. I was stung by the truth, "A sober wife makes herself the match of every circumstance." (p 148)
Debi states it so plainly. Even if I have not used 9 out of the 10 excuses that she says women use for not completing their simple tasks, I felt humbled. I know that the craziness that I feel at times is 99% in my control. Simply stated, "It is the lack of simple planning." (p 150)
I am challenged to try her crop-pot meals for the week...just to try it! I love the crock-pot but I do not use it as a daily help. She makes it appealing!
"Sometimes, maintaining a good relationship with your husband simply requires the performing of simple tasks, like having a food meal ready on time and a clean house, even when it is not convenient to do so." (p 151)

CH. 16: To Love Their Husbands
Not a whole lot I want to share from this chapter via the blog...though, I was hoping there would be a note or a letter or something that addressed the situation--the other way around!
However, I do agree with the one-side that she presented. There are a lot of women out there with low-body image and low self esteem that use every excuse in the book!

We spent quite some time on this chapter before getting to CH. 17 with the gals who were here this past week. Thank you, to those who were here Friday, you were an encouragement to me and my efforts with this group :-)

One quote from this chapter that I appreciated from Debi, "When you truly love and reverence your husband, the very thought of him loving the likes of you should thrill your soul and make you long to cause him pleasure."

*Side Note: Was anyone as dumb struck, saddened, angry, frustrated, at Mr. Miller's letter on p. 167 as I?

Helpmeet--Ch. 16; Jen

Hi Jan,
I'm trying to get caught up! Thanks for holding me accountable. I'm going to start going through this book with one of my counselees and I'm super thrilled about it but she's already mad at the book. LOL! Isn't that great! God is going to move in her heart and I just know it! Thank you for taking the calling to lead this discussion group. I hope that you have a great turn out at your home and I do hope a few more come on here....I'm feeling a bit lonely. Hopefully you can jump back in soon, Jessica, once you are settled a bit. =0) Know you are missed!

Wow, what a great chapter! I don't have much to say other than I wish more women would write on this topic. I've read several books on this topic and they were all written by men! I'm anxious to read the other book the Pearl's wrote called Holy Sex and see what they have to say in more detail. I've counseled women on this topic and it would be great if more writers out there wrote like Debi does about it. I've heard it all....."I just don't like it....", "It doesn't do anything for me", "I don't get anything out of it", "I'll never initiate it...my husband just has to live with that", and so on. It would be nice to have more resources to address these issues and this chapter is a great place to start. I love that Debi makes it clear that women need to do what they can to find a way to make it enjoyable and go into it with joy. Women who struggle with it need to take the initiative to solve their apathy for their husband's sake. The only thing that came to mind that Debi didn't mention directly but more indirectly is that women need to initiate things some of the time. Not just "available" but "initiating". It tells a man that he's worth being pursued. If we think that being available can do magic, initiating it is ten times greater.

Personally it made me really grateful. We started out as a really young couple pretty innocent and without a lot of info on the subject and by submitting to the Lord in our marriage, I believe He's blessed us in this area. The world makes you think that you have to "get educated" on this topic otherwise you won't be successful. I'm encouraged that young couples like us could discover the gift that God created of meeting each other's needs in the bedroom without a bunch of the world's "education". It's amazing what selflessness can do for one's marriage! If we just apply that to our marriage bed it can solve a lot of problems and make things quite enjoyable.

This was a refreshing chapter to read.

Helpmeet--Ch. 15; Jen

This chapter was good and I think it's a key concept to understanding what we can "do" now that we understand how we should think. We can think well about the role we play and things like respect, obedience, and reverence but here we go into the "how" of living it out.

The word "sober" reminds me of another word in Scripture describing the elders in the church and women in another section...which is "sensible". That word seems to go hand in hand with this sober. How many insensible wives come to mind to me. So many. I know many lazy, foolish, unorganized, unplanning, apathetic women who view themselves as Godly women of God. Yikes. I've felt so convicted in the last several years (especially when my kids were babies) in this area of sober. Now I know why, GOD CALLS ME TO IT! I don't take managing my home lightly. I once had a friend say that at seminary she heard a man say that pastor's wives should all have house maids because they are just so swamped with ministry....she thought I'd agree and possibly even rally that our husbands should get us maids...but instead I busted out laughing and said something like "that's MY job and if I'm not doing it then I'm neglecting my calling as a wife and mom and I'm plain old lazy!" At no point am I to put ministry (even good things) over my family and my home. I also had a woman "confront" me upon arriving at a new church my husband was hired at, that I needed to be in a woman's Bible study and that I was basically in sin for not being in one. I explained to her that I had a 15 month old and I was pregnant with a very difficult pregnancy and was throwing up all day with very little strength and assured her that I was not able to do all the rigid homework the women's studies were requiring at the time. I barely made it to church on Sundays! She responded by saying that I could come to her Bible study and just excuse myself to go throw up in her bathroom. I then told her that when I would throw up I would also pee all over the floor. That shut her up. My point is, Bible study is a noble thing but my family still came first. I was raising and caring for a baby and also making one all at the same time and I had to embrace the limits of the season of life I was in. This didn't make me less Godly, less in the Word nor distant from God. My baby and the baby inside me, needed my body to be HOME. My home needed me to be HOME since it got the leftovers of any energy I had each day which was just enough to keep it running. My husband needed me HOME so that if I accomplished anything that day it was a meal for dinner.

I think I tend to "over plan" things in that I'm type A and the perfectionist in me makes things harder than they are. I'm always making things more complex and my struggle is learning how to simplify...so I really appreciated the tips and the thinking that Debi shared about simplifying your life in order to better serve our families. That really helped me in terms of thinking how to simplify!

Helpmeet--Ch. 14; Jen

I'm really behind on posting so I'll get a little caught up today.

I've realized, looking back over the years, that there were many years in my marriage of my self-centered lack of reverence for my husband as I study this chapter.

This quote from chapter 14 really struck me... "The very heart of reverence is extreme appreciation and profound thankfulness that this man, just as he is, has chosen to love me, just as I am." Wow. That really keeps me humble and keeps things in perspective.

I like that she also said that "men should look for a woman who is grateful for them." What good advice I can give to my son one day.

Post coming soon!!

Hey Ladies!

How is the reading going?? I have not heard from lots of you for quite some time. I am a bit behind and once I sign-off I will have the opportunity to get caught up through CH 17 which we will gather to discuss this coming Friday (9/12).
Once I have my thoughts gathered...I will replace this post with my CH 16 thoughts.

I know life can get crazy!! Stay focused and put the priorities in line...

I will be praying for you today...
Jessica
Donna
Lori
Jill
Jenny
Barb
Stephanie
Chelle