Helpmeet--Ch. 11 & 12; Jan-Maree

-Yeah! I am caught up with reading through, Ch 13/14. I will post in this next week!-

CH. 11
The Nature of Man and Women
This chapter was somewhat of a ‘history’ review for me. As Debi was refreshing my memory of these events, I easily paralleled some of her points with ones in my own life. On page 107 she listed 3 ways that Eve was deceived. I too could relate to Eve’s source of failure, “…her unwillingness to believe God and her husband.” I do realize that we are talking apples and oranges here, but I have seen my sinfulness in so many areas and it’s when I am not trusting in God’s promises.
I appreciate a lot of the bottom-of-the-page quotes (have you noticed them?) and side line highlights that are pulled out of the paragraphs. Two that I particularly like are in this chapter on the same page (p. 108) then one on p. 115
1. “Vulnerability is a woman’s greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness.”
2. “The soul of a mother has to be vulnerable.”
3. “Learn to be a bundle of delightful joy”
These are NOT earth shaking quotes, but to me at the time of reading, they put some perspective on some things, in my life, as a mom.

CH. 12
By Divine Appointment
OK, I know this is as sinful a woman as I…so I want to be cautious about holding her up as all-knowing and wise when it all sounds good, but the Word of God is what we should be quoting. On one hand what she is saying is biblically sound, on the other hand this is her own opinion but proven by her life that what she is suggesting/telling works. I happen to agree with most of it! In the first paragraph of this chapter it all came together for me. Since reading this and believing it (which I do…but some may argue it), a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders. Truly. I have been freed to love my man w/o exception.

"Don’t worry about the quality of his leadership, for he is
under the oversight of Jesus Christ. He must answer to God for how he leads his “troops.” You must answer to God for how you obey the one He places over you. It takes faith in God to trust him when all you seem to see is once carnal man leading you—to “God only know where."

On page 123, “Getting Serious with God”…is anyone having difficulty with this list? I am not sure where to begin…will someone share their thoughts/ideas? Here is what I have come up with but it’s a bit repetitive …
Monday:
1. Keep smiling
2. Keep laughing
3. Happily deal with the children
Tuesday:
1. same as above
Wednesday:
1. same as above
Thursday:
1. He likes my appearance (can’t think of anything)
Friday:
1. Have his shirts ironed and off the ironing board
2. Have his shirts ironed and off the ironing board
3. Have his shirts ironed and off the ironing board
Saturday: (I will keep this to myself, thank you very much!)
Sunday:
1. Praise him and smile at him
2. Touch him
3. Do not correct or talk over him

Helpmeet--Ch. 11 & 12; Jessica

Chapter 11

Did these phrases cause you to pause?:

"...Lucifer, the fallen cherub, was jealous of Adam's position as master of the renewed planet."

and

"He [Lucifer] did not want God to be successful at replenishing the earth. - p.106 (emphasis added)

I know that this blog is not intended for a discussion on our beliefs of the creation account. I will just say that I was a little perplexed when I first came across these phrases. I have since learned that the Pearl's believe in the existence of a time "gap" between verses 2 and 3 of Genesis chapter 1, and they believe that the creation account beginning in verse 3 is not the first creation. If you're interested in learning more about their position, you can go to this link. I read through the article and I've asked my husband to read it. If any of you get a chance to read it, and would like to comment on this topic, you can email me at jlp91326@yahoo.com.

O.K., moving along to the help meet portion of the chapter...

On page 110, Debi tells us that:

"...wives should fear God and distrust their natural tendencies."

I don't like to think of myself as one who is deceived, but that does not change the fact that I am!

It is also interesting to note how men are "exposed and vulnerable" to the women they love (p.110) Debi's words of caution should be at the forefront of my mind:

"We need to be aware of the power we have to seduce our husbands into following us into disregarding the clear, objective words of God.-p.110-111

If Adam, Samson, Solomon, and David can fall in these areas, so can any of our men.

I wonder how many times my husband has gone against his own better judgment in order to keep his wife happy? I don't ever want to make my man weak because I am somehow assuming a masculine role (p. 112).

In the "Virtuous Woman" section, I found it interesting (and somewhat humorous) to read Debi's thoughts on the modern perspective of Proverbs 31. I like how she notes that "quiet time" and "prayer warrior" are not synonymous with the biblical womanhood that we read about in Scripture:

"In our culture, we have lost a clear understanding of what constitutes a virtuous woman." -p.114

At the end of the chapter, I was challenged to be that wife who is feminine, sweet, girlish... a "delightful joy".

"A man cannot cherish a strong woman who expresses her displeasure of him." -p.115

The "Time to Consider" section on page 116 asks some tough questions. The "Biblical Profile Contrast" is a helpful chart, as well.

Chapter 12

"It takes faith in God to trust him when all you seem to see is one carnal man leading you - to "God only knows where." "- p. 117

And, so, I just keep praying as the apostles prayed (Luke 17:5), that the Lord would increase my faith.

I thought Debi did a great job addressing the "What about Deborah?" issue. On the one hand, Deborah was a good leader... and that was exactly the problem, for it resulted in shame to Israel that a woman should be in the position of authority.

I loved this excerpt on p. 122:

"Do you KNOW even one couple who says they have a heavenly marriage? I know that the angels in heaven stand amazed at how much a man can love a woman, how he can break down weeping at the thought of how precious she is to him. The reason he loves her is because she IS precious. She has earned his total adoration and love. She is what God asks of a woman, and the end result is a man who cherishes her beyond anything this world can know."

I have known a couple that claimed to have a heavenly marriage. The wife was such a godly example for me to follow. It is my hope that I can continually grow to become "what God asks of a woman." Lord willing, I can be precious and cherished in the eyes of my husband.

In the "Time to Consider" section, I was reminded that I need to improve in the area of verbally praising my husband (privately and publicly.)

Helpmeet--Ch. 11 & 12; Jen

Chapter 11
"She (Eve) was meant to be Adam's helper but she helped herself to spiritual knowledge and acted independently, becoming his downfall instead of his help meet."

"Vulnerability is a woman's greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness."

Both of those were powerful statements to me, reminding me that God made us women by nature to be the weaker vessel. When we recognize that and embrace it we suddenly realize that it's an asset as well as a weakness and the difference is easier to recognize. I really liked that Debi points out that Eve was "easily deceived" because she was a woman. I think the world teaches us that we are so equal that we read the story of Adam and Eve and we fail to recognize that they were not equal in their vulnerability. The funny or sad thing is that the world doesn't want to accept the idea that women are more vulnerable which means the world is unwilling to recognize some of women's greatest strengths!

page 109 was incredible to me....and into page 110. Again the point being that women are more easily deceived and I tell ya, I'm not kind to my own sex because I already was thinking this way but I've just never seen this in print! Fabulous stuff. As I read this section I could hear in the back of my mind several Christian women screaming their heads off in rebellion to the truths that Debi shared on just these two pages! I had to read it out loud to my husband it was so good and he quickly pulled up the cover of the book to see what crazy book it was I was reading. LOL. I wish more Christians would go back to the basics and stop accepting what has become the norm and familiar to them in roles. When we look at the roles God created for men and women, suddenly things like women not teaching over men is very clear and make perfect sense!

Chapter 12
I really liked the last paragraph on page 117 where she says that "in all of this submit-to-your-superior talk, remember this: God is focusing our attention on the heavenly pattern. The emphasis is not on women submitting to men, but rather on women showing, here on earth, the heavenly pattern of the Son submitting to the Father." So important to keep myself focused on this goal. In our culture in American today, this WILL be noticed...if I truly submit I will be different and it will be an opportunity to witness for Christ!

At the end of this chapter there were questions and I went through them. I'll share a few of the things that I listed for the "Getting Serious With God" section....not all of them though cause some of them were personal in nature.
say "no" to more activities so that I'm less busy.
be more responsible financially
keep the house under better control
not talk over him
not snap at him
provide more planned home cooked meals
pray more specifically for him
praise him more (privately and publicly)
make improvements on our home from our "fix-it-up" list
be more creative financially (frugal creativeness)
ask him first about a decision before making my own decision (give him preference)
don't put him down
allow him to talk
be his support without making decisions for him

Helpmeet--Ch. 9 & 10; Jan-Maree

“From the beginning, God meant for us [women] to be a comfort, a blessing, a reward, a friend, and an encouragement [to our men]” p. 94

Chapter 9: Finding Your Life in His
I was provoked to pride that my husband had never “pulled a fast one on me” when it came to career changes or dreams he wanted realized. But, as I continued to read through, I swiftly and humbly recognized that these changes do not necessarily manifest only in these two areas; there are many others instances that can be applied in understanding Debi’s point in sharing the story of The CPA (p. 95)
In my case, it was with his maturing as a man within his career and his ‘enlightening’ through reading and research on subjects I thought to be ‘secular thinking’. Without boring you with unnecessary details, it took this book (started in January) to get me to back-off of Jeff and stop being a whining, distrusting, and disrespecting destructor of his leadership.
I also (Jessica also posted) appreciated Debi’s quote on p. 97,

"Learn to really enjoy taking out the trash or milking a cow. You will be amazed at how God will fill you full of himself…[God] is looking for women willing to be true help meets to the men whom they married, so He can fill them full of joy.”

Though, I do not always understand all the goals that Jeff wants to achieve or the reasoning behind them (which can consume me with fear if I allow it), I am trusting that the Lord will work in his life as well as mine. I have already seen our marriage do an amazing turn for the better! Jeff is respected, trusted, and enjoyed in our home. I know I will be blessed for choosing to uphold Jeff as the leader in our home.

Here is another quote I appreciated...

"Wisdom is knowing what you “bought” when you married that man and learning to adapt to him as he is, while enjoying the full value of your “purchase.” p. 99


Chapter 10: Reactions Define You

I appreciated more than ever the concise ‘review’ that Debi gives on p. 104, under Time to Consider. I learned that not only are we to do this or that, remember this or that, but to look to the future and discover the ways to better meet our husband’s needs and desires.

Ways that I can free my husband to be the man God created him to be:
• Have a smile on my face when he walks in the door.
• Be ready and willing to assist him in the kitchen.
• Have the house and yard toys orderly when he arrives.
• Lower (soften) my voice when dealing with kid stuff.
• Encourage/Praise him with my words.
• Head off some of the decision making when it comes to our social calendar.

"Your reactions define who you really are inside and what you really believe at your core level.” p. 101

I believe that I will never have peace, happiness, and joy until my mind is filled with good-will towards my husband.
(p. 103) -paraphrased/personalized-

Helpmeet--Ch. 9 & 10; Jen

I've gotten behind on posting even though I've been studying along. =0)

Chapter 9
I only had one major thing that stood out to me in chapter 9 which was on page 96 when she says that "God didn't create Adam and Eve at the same time and then tell them to work out some compromise on how they would each achieve their personal goals in cooperative endeavor." That is so the world's thinking today on marriage but when we put it in terms of God's creation of Adam and Eve it sounds so silly and ridiculous. When we decide to buck God's plan for marriage, we create a whole world of strife for ourselves.

Chapter 10
I took notes on this chapter and I'll just copy them down here.....
"You can control your future reactions considerably by changing the way you think...." Our responses reveal how we think. We can try to modify our behavior but only changing our thinking will truly change our behavior (heart change).

Ways to Encourage My Husband:
-not complain (about the house, our church, our kids, etc.)
-be spontaneously romantic
-take care of myself, make myself appealing
-smile more
-not push him to make decisions or into things he is not called to do
-pray for him
-ask him what I can do for him each day
-speak encouraging words (I'm his cheerleader!)