Prayer Request; Jessica

Could I ask you ladies to please pray for me- I am having a minor surgery on Friday morning at 7:30 a.m. It is an outpatient procedure to repair a hernia which developed when I was pregnant. The surgeon at that time told me to come back in and have it taken care of after the baby was born... here we are seven years later!

Anyway, I would ask that you lift up these specific requests:

-That my body will handle the general anesthesia well and that I will not feel nauseous when I wake up or throughout the day.

-That the surgeon will perform the procedure with precision.

-And that I will recover without much pain and without any complications due to infection or otherwise.

Thank you, everyone!

Helpmeet--Ch. 6 & 7; Jill

Although I have not been posting regularly I have been reading along and lurking at the blog, keeping up with all the posts and comments. God has used Debi’s book to show me that I have been a contentious wife. Just when I think I’ve got Proverbs 31 down, telling myself “I work hard caring for my family” He led me to Proverbs 21 to see my glaring sin. Both the Blue Letter Bible and 1828 dictionary were useful tools in this study, thanks Jessica for sharing them.

I was so moved by the book that I ordered multiple copies, praying God would allow me to share them with women in need and hoping to form a discussion group like Jan’s with women from my church. By His grace, two reading groups have formed and lives are being changed, including mine.

Our first meeting was Mar 21, one week after the first meeting at Jan’s. A gal in the group, Carrie, called me days before the meeting saying she had read ahead in the book and felt it was placed in her hand by God. She shared that her marriage was going through tough times and that she believed God sent this book to her at just the right time. On the day of our first meeting, a Friday, she was to leave on a trip out of town with her husband for business. She was hopeful the time away together and her recent change of heart might bring recoconciliation. Just as our discussion ended he called and cancelled the trip. Later that weekend he told her he felt they should separate. She was devastated. They are both professing believers, have known each other sixteen years and have been blessed with a three year old daughter.

We have been in constant prayer that the Lord would continue the work He began in her and restore their marriage. There have been up's and down's but she has been trusting and hopeful, eager to show her husband, even if from a distance, how God has changed her from a critical and discontent wife to one whom is eager to please and be his helper. He has kept his distance, denied any unfaithfulness and said he just needed some time apart.

This past Friday we met again to discuss chapters 6-7. She shared that there were still many “unknowns” about his activity since they separated but instead of chasing him around to find out she would wait on the Lord to reveal to her what she needed to know in His time. When we read the section Alone she broke down in tears, pleading that the Lord would allow her the opportunity to practice all she has learned since reading the book. She has even written Debi Pearl a letter asking for prayer.

The following day, which was this past Saturday, she received a phone call from a nineteen year old girl who reveled herself as his ex-girlfriend. She claims to be pregnant, says she’s on Carrie’s side and wants her to know everything that has happened. Carrie called her husband and graciously offered forgiveness. This isn’t the first time she has accepted him back after hurtful sin. He refuses to face her and says he wants a divorce. She is praising God in the midst of this trial for placing her in a close group of friends for support (they had recently moved back here after living out of town for his work) and for gently revealing the truth of the situation, sparing her the torment of being served divorce papers with no explanation.

She is trusting God and praying for wisdom in how to proceed. Weeks ago she gave me permission to ask Jan’s group for prayer. Please pray for her husband’s repentance and for wisdom as they are beginning the divorce process today.

Helpmeet--Ch. 6 & 7; Jen

I'm a part of another online bible study blog (if any of you are interested in it, let me know and I can send you an invite. It's a private blog that a small group of us use as an outlet for our personal study time in God's Word) and just started going to another bible study at church and I'm finding it hard to get all my homework done! =0) So, I'm behind on this one but have been doing the reading and greatly enjoying the book! I'm also eager to hear more about the discussions that take place at Jan's house. I know it's probably repetitive for some of you to post about it but it sure would benefit those of us who aren't able to attend.

In chapter 6 The Crazy Lady was really amazing to read about. It IS amazing what God can allow if we walk in disobedience. You can tell that Debi brings a lot of experience to this book. Anyway, it reminded me of an incident that I observed once in church of a woman who was out of control. Her husband just sat idly by and I couldn't help but think of what a disgrace she was to her husband and the Lord. She was violent so I don't think putting my arm around her would have worked....A few of us did consider calling the police but she ended up storming out. She displayed her true character that day. Yikes. Scary what our disobedience allows us to be capable of. Reminds me of the verse about the woman who tears down her own house with her hands. The Crazy Lady did just that through her disobedience to God's Word and her lack of submission to her husband. Scary. What I think stood out to me the most about this story is that The Crazy Lady didn't start out totally crazy...it was just settle little things over time that built up and as more and more time (like Debi says 'more and more practice') it snowballed and became this big ugly thing. Sometimes I look at women like that and I wonder "wow, how did this woman become this person?" I'm guessing the answer is over time with lots and lots of practice! Last, the two verses she quotes at the end were really enlightening. Deut. 28:28 and Ecc. 10:13.

In chapter 7 I LOVED both letters and Debi's response to the first. "Alone" is incredibly powerful like Jessica said. I'm discipling (more like counseling) two women right now with marriages that are in the middle of crashing and burning and I so wanted to share "Alone" with them. I had the opportunity to share it with one of them and her response was something like "alone sounds really good right now." Like Debi I feel compelled to pour myself into younger women who do not have this much bitterness built up. Trying to help these 20 year old marriages that have 20 years of bitterness or even 10 year marriages with 10 years of practicing bitterness feels like I'm sometimes just talking to a wall when I meet with them. I'm SO encouraged by Debi to spend my time, energy, and emotions discipling younger women who have not yet made up their minds to be bitter. I've recently been making more of an effort to spend time with the newly married gals at our church and it is SO refreshing! Just what I needed!

And the first letter in chapter 7 is incredible to me too because it shows how we allow one little thing we disagree with or disapprove of be the seed for our bitterness. Again, a woman may look back and go "how did we get HERE?" Only to answer herself, oh ya, it started over TV commercials! I had to ask myself what TV commercial issues in my life are causing me to nag my precious leader and are making me bitter towards him.

The most amazing line for me in chapter 7 was "He practices his faults, and you practice your bitterness. You are both practicing divorce." (top of pg 73) OUCH! I'd love to say that to a few women and myself every day! Yikes. There it is in a nutshell. What am I practicing today...well, I'm totally more aware of making an effort to practice showing love, holding my tongue like Jessica mentioned, looking for ways to bless and serve my husband, putting aside selfish desires and bitterness. This is a painful book!

Helpmeet--Ch. 6 & 7; Jessica

Ch.6

A woman who really knows God will know that true spirituality is obeying God's recorded Word, not cultivating her "spiritual sensibilities."- p.59

I have known plenty of women, including extended family members, who claim to love the Lord, and yet, they are living in blatant disobedience to his commands. Jesus was very clear, "If ye love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15)

There are also women in Christian circles who are very committed to their quiet time, women's ministries, prayer groups, etc. and yet we hear them gossiping, complaining, disrespecting their husbands, and more. "But he said, Yea rather, blessed [are] they that hear the word of God, and keep it" (Luke 11:28, emphasis added)

How many women (and I am speaking to myself here, too!) find themselves wondering, "what is God's will for me in this or that particular area?" God has provided an answer to that question! We can go to our husband and follow his direction. This is God's will for wives. Submission. Obedience. Trusting God through our husband's leadership. I should do all of this because Jesus modeled submission for me: "because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me" (John 5:30)

Trusting our husband's leadership can be scary! My natural tendency is to fear and question some of his decision making. But, again, if I am ultimately trusting in the Lord, then I do not need to fear! The Lord is leading my husband, who, in turn, is leading me. One verse that I have had to cling to again and again is: "The king's heart [is] in the hand of the LORD, [as] the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will" (Proverbs 21:1)

What did I learn from the "Crazy Lady?" Well, among other things, I need to really be careful to ensure that I am always trying to be his helper and not his conscience.

Ch.7

I think the letter, "Alone," is the most powerful message from the book thus far. After reading it, I was reminded, once again, how merciful God is! He has preserved my marriage even when I have made many of the same foolish choices that Carolyn made. How many times have I been cool toward my husband, waiting for him to "suffer" a little more (p.69). How many times have I let him know that I disapprove of his spending choices? More times than I care to admit!

By God's grace, I have learned in recent years to hold my tongue and trust the Lord. I am grateful that I've had time to practice this because we have some big changes coming up in the near future. Some of you know that my husband is facing a career change and our family may soon be relocating out of state. My husband is becoming more and more a Mr. Visionary (chapter 8). This is exciting... and unnerving!

As trying as it may be, I will do my best to keep that meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:4)