Helpmeet--Intro; Stephanie

Jay, the king of my heart, and I were married 8 1/2 years ago. He works as Director of Communications for Grace To You, the radio ministry of our pastor; I am most blessed to be a full-time wife and mom at home. We have 2 delightful children, Madeline (3 1/2) and Mason (1). We have a family blog which displays our day-to-day life at http://www.flowersgirlgarden.blogspot.com/, if you'd like to see us in action.

I received Help Meet as a Christmas gift from my sister last December. I opened it with a very skeptical eye because I have read so many shallow, "psychologized", void-of-practical-application books on marriage; I was wary of reading another. To my surprise and relief, I read chapter after chapter of solid, biblical counsel and application. Debi Pearl has hit the proverbial nail on the head! When I read the last chapter and closed the book, I felt like I was saying goodbye to a most trusted friend, until I remembered that I could start reading it all over again! I can't put into words how God's Word, through Help Meet, has changed my life. But I will fumble through a few sentences and hopefully express my thoughts in a way that may strike a chord with you or spark a thought that you could share with me to smooth this most snarled path to a "heavenly marriage".

Because my husband is a "Command Man" (see ch. 8), the following statement in this first chapter (p. 23) put teeth in my active service to him:

"God made you to be a help meet to your husband

so you can bolster him, making him more productive

and efficient at whatever he chooses to do."

One of my greatest fears is that Jay will spend more time at work, thinking about work, stressing about work, not sleeping because of work. Why would God want me to support him in his effort to potentially damage himself or his family? (Of course this is flawed thinking.) Debi's biblical counsel is right on; God created Jay to work. And if I can bolster him, help him to enjoy his work more or be better at it, then he will be a more effective tool for Christ! What greater joy can I have than that I am sharpening a tool for the Lord's Kingdom work? Yes, it costs me something; but what did David say of his sacrifice to the Lord: "...I will not offer offerings to the LORD my God which cost me nothing." (2 Sam. 24:24) And my service to Jay is indeed a sacrifice of worship to God.

So, what does this mean on a Monday morning? Get up early. Pray 10 minutes just for him. Make him coffee. Make his lunch. Make sure the children are happy when he leaves and when he returns home (even though later than I expected). Have dinner ready (or at least in the making) and a smear of lip gloss on (or a stick of gum in my mouth, thanks Jan) when he walks through the door. Listen, listen, listen to the details of his day, no matter how short or long the oration may be. Don't ask too many questions. Let him check his email/text messages as many times as he wants without nagging. All of this, and more, helps him to do his job better and brings him satisfaction in his work. I'm being a good help meet to him, whether or not it brings me satisfaction.

After all, I was created to be his help meet, and that means doing for him what is helpful. Do I gain anything (besides early mornings and a spring-loaded seat)? Yes! "The LORD will repay each man for his righteousness and his faithfulness." (1 Sam. 26:23) "The reward of humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, honor and life." (Prov 22:4) "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt. 11:28)