I have a command man, and knew it all along. The key to our marriage is my obedience *smile*. Since beginning this study I have seen his reactions improve based on the degree of reverence I show him. I think of it as the neck turning the head… I CAN have a happy marriage, IF I obey him.
Chapter 8 is now required reading for all my close friends so they can recognize the differences in our roles as wives. They will be better equipped to exhort and encourage me when they understand my husband has very different desires and expectations of me than their Mr. Steady husbands do of them. As my husband tells me “Jill, you didn’t want normal” and that’s true.
Debi says our son’s personalities can be detected before age one. I have a 2 ½ year old command man. He comes by it honestly with a command daddy and two command grandfathers. Does anyone have advice on how to mother this personality?
4 comments:
Jill, you are such an example to me! I wish I could know you personally! I have some friends that I need to send down to your house for counseling! =0) Thank you so much for shedding more light on command man....it was so neat to learn in the book how the three types need each other and I had so many lightbulbs going on....it had never dawned on me that the "command man" husbands were also the great leaders of our communities and churches.....God must have some cool things in plan for your family!
Concerning the sons....I'm totally curious as well because despite being married to "steady man", my son seems to be command man...maybe because he's the oldest and he gets it from my side of the family (lots of command man grandfathers up the family tree). I too am curious if anyone has input on raising such a man because thus far I've been discouraging him from being "bossy" but I don't want to hinder the born leader in him. How do we train them to lead in love?
Jen,
Thanks for your comments. It was an enlightening chapter for me too. Email me at jsaad@desertac.com if you'd like to chat about it more.
YES, I'll be emailng you later when I have a chance. I have a lot of questions about command man as I'm counseling a woman with one. I could greatly benefit from your input! Gotta run.
Hi Jill,
so sorry I never emailed you again but now I'm back from my computer crashing and vacation and wanted to follow up with you on this topic. I thought I'd go ahead and post it on here so that if anyone else had input or wanted to jump into the conversation they could.
I guess my biggest question about command man is what would you say is the line drawn for a wife who is becoming a doormat? I know in the book Debi continuely says that we submit no matter what and in later chapters I've discovered that she has some situations where she says you should take a stand...but I guess I'm just curious what other women feel about that topic. I've observed "command men" who verbally abuse their wives, physically abuse their wives, treat them like one of the children, and in one case, views his wife as his slave and has said so, etc. Do any of you feel that there is a point where a wife needs to protect herself? Also, it seems that this type of man is the hardest to minister to in a way that causes him to see his domineering ways. His wife loving him and submitting to him just feeds his cruel slavery. Has anyone else experienced this, counseled in this, or observed this? I guess it's just hard with any man that isn't honoring God by loving his wife the way he should. Of course, I know several wonderful, godly, loving command men that are wonderful husbands and I'm not speaking of them....I'm specifically speaking of a command man that is not honoring God with his marriage.
I also was wondering what others think about the affair thing.....I have some friends that have had to go have aids testing done because of unfaithful husbands and this issue seems to be tough when Debi says the wife should stay with him and submit....anyone have thoughts on this?
And, I apologize for being long winded but one more question that was brought up before....any tips on raising command sons? I believe I am raising one and my husband and I discussed it recently. The only thing we've come up with is giving him instruction in serving his sister....we thought that teaching him to be a servant leader would go a long way if he's going to have a tendancy to be bossy. =0) I'd love to hear more thoughts on this as well!
THANK YOU GALS! and Jill!
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