Wisdom to Understand Your Man: A wise woman learns to adapt to her man.
I have considered writing to Mrs. Pearl and offering the suggestion that when (down the road if applicable) the book gets up dated or re-formatted that this chapter get moved to the beginning of the book!
I particularly enjoyed her personal thoughts of how the three types of men paralleled the Trinity.
As I was reading there were several points that stood out to me. I will share those and close with some personal thoughts of how I have identified my beloved and how I am blessed by him and also how I can be a better helpmeet to him.
· It was clear to me after reading this chapter, how (in the 13 yrs we have been married) I have been a curse to my husband (and of course a blessing, at times).
· I am thankful for her "KEY" point on pg 76: “Wisdom in knowing what you ‘bought’ when you married that man, and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be."
Though, I would not consider Jeff a “Mr. Command Man” by nature, there is some of that tendency at times and I am learning in what areas of life this blessing surfaces. Here are a few points that did apply that I need to remember (I will paraphrase)…
· Command men do more than is required (pp 77).
· I have to learn how to make a ‘proper appeal’ with out challenging his authority (pp 77).
· I have to earn/work my place in his heart by proving that I will stand by him, be faithful to only him, and obedient to him (pp 77).
· Many times when there is strife…it is because he expects obedience, honor and reverence, and he is not getting it (pp 79).
Now, Jeff certainly is not a “Mr. Visionary”, but there were still some great points that can be applied to any ‘type’ of man.
· Learning how to be flexible, and learning how to be loyal to your man…go with his flow (pp 81).
· “The way you think determines how you will feel, and how you feel influences the way you will act.” (pp 83)
If you have not figured it out yet, Jeff is a “Mr. Steady” through and through. Most of this section was eye opening! From the way that he views me to the way that others (who do not have Mr. Steady) view me, so much of this section was written just for me.
· I absolutely appreciate the simplicity of what Mrs. Pearl says here: “The women married to Visionary Men look at you in wonder that your husband seems so balanced and stable. The wife of Command Man marvels at the free time you seem to have.” (pp 86)
· “Let him be the one God made him to be: a still, quiet, thoughtful presence—for you!” (pp 87)
· His lack of [open boldness to spiritual things] may look like indifference. However he is like deep, deep water. The very depth makes the movement almost imperceptible, but it is, nevertheless, very strong.
As the chapter was closing, I appreciated Debbi’s detail in the wife’s power in making and breaking her marriage with the sections, “Ruination” Wife’s Summary and Successful Wife’s Summary.
My responsibility, as a wife of a Mr. Steady, is to readily acknowledge what a friend, lover, and companion I have been given. Remembering, to give him verbal affirmation and gratitude for his hard work, support, listening ear, comfort, and quiet presence!
“When she stops trying to change him, he will grow…” pp. 92
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