Changed Into His Image, Ch. 3

"Identifying Your Own Way"

What is my own way? Having to identify specific sinful patterns in my attitude, behavior and general nature was...um...painful. And although I have known about my propensity to sin in certain areas, now having to actually own them, admit them and seek to forsake them is a whole different ballgame.

1. I am The Cooperative Rebel (p. 52)
I choose to cooperate in my marriage, and even with my children, in order to get what I want, which is usually: peace.
 “(My) own way is to comply while retaining the right to protest.” I will acquiesce with Jay or bargain with my children but still harbor resentment that I am not getting exactly what I want or receiving the response that I think I should be getting. If things don’t turn out well, I can easily fall back on, “I didn’t say anything earlier, but I would have said….”
 I “…can become easily embittered during the times when (I am) being good and don’t get what (I) want.” It is especially difficult when I think I deserve a pat on the back, a recognition for my sacrifices, a commendation for a job well done…but all is quiet on the home-front. True humility, according to Andrew Murray, is to be at rest when nobody praises me, or when I am blamed or despised.

2. I am mothering two Passive Rebels (p. 54)
“I can’t obey”, “I forgot to obey” and “I didn’t know to obey” are the first, middle and last names of my beloved children. No one taught them to rebel; they do it naturally and quite often.
 Mason often says, “I can’t obey” when he does not have the will to obey. It shows his indifference to my command or his resistance to obeying my command.
 Madeline is a mix of the “I forgot to obey” and the “I didn’t know to obey”. She chooses to be lazy and not follow through with her obedience or she is choosing to be intentionally ignorant of the rules.

3. Is There Hope? (p. 55)
YES! “There is no problem that God’s Word doesn’t address in the Scriptures. All of the masks of rebellion and the sinful behaviors and attitudes…can be changed.”
 Always naming the root/heart issue of the sinful behavior is the best place to start. And dealing with the core sin is the only way to conquer it! Learning how to resist the sin/temptation will require much prayer and vigilance on my/their part.

4. John Owen on Knowing Your Heart (p. 58)
“’Unless we are conscious of these propensities, relationships, and dynamic possibilities, temptation will constantly entangle us. This is why it is so important to know ourselves—our temperaments and our attitudes.’”
 When I am “low”, that is, hungry or extremely tired, I know I am prone to being impatient, responding in anger or simply willing to give in to my children’s requests. I must preempt that propensity by eating regularly and not cramming my schedule to full that I am too exhausted to respond biblically at the end of the day.
 Although physical needs play a part in my temptation to sin, it is not the true reason why I sin. (See notes below.)

5. What is the Ruling Lust? (p. 63)
“The problem is in the heart of man, not in his circumstances
 Separating children, venting to my husband, or acquiescing may “stop the fight”, but it will not solve the ultimate problem. This is the proverbial band-aid on the gunshot wound.
 To stop the hemorrhage, I must repent (or help my children to name their own sins) with the intention of forsaking my sin. And I must place this example before my husband and children so they may see my desire to change and be willing to change, too.

Stephanie Flowers