Helpmeet--Ch. 2 & 3; Jen

I'll be gone all day and all evening tomorrow so I decided to get my entry in today so that I wasn't terribly late...once the weekend hits it's difficult to get online for any length of time. I'm also posting a more current picture of our family for you. Oh ya, and forgive my dotted lines, for some reason blogger on this particular blog doesn't want to allow me any paragraph breaks. Strange.
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As I read this past two weeks I took notes in a note book and jotted down the things that stood out to me and also tried to answer the questions at the back of each chapter. Forgive me for being long winded....this was very therapeutic for me to take these notes. I appreciate the web-space to jot down these thoughts.
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Chapter 2~
Somewhere in this chapter she asked "Does your husband see you as a happy thankful woman?" It really made me think about myself. I think he does most of the time. He has said so but I know that I can always use improvement. It made me think about how happiness is only genuinely possible when I have thankfulness born from contentment. As I read chapter 3 I see how I was on the right track.
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In the Time To Consider she talked about the importance of smiling. It's amazing the power of simply a smile. I know women who rarely smile....like she mentioned in the beginning of the chapter...those who say they have the joy of the Lord but she wonders where they are hiding it. LOL. I realized that our face and our words are a display of our heart attitudes whether we intend them to be or not. Even if a grumpy face is an inaccurate display of our heart, it's still what is conveys to others.
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I also thought about through this chapter, that our natural (sin nature) responses are the ones most likely to drive our husbands away and in the meantime, as I've discovered with women I disciple, it completely embitters us towards him. Our responses to his actions and/or sin is really an opportunity for us to respond in godliness or sin.
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If my purpose is to be a godly wife doing everything I can to love, serve, and obey, it will leave little room in his heart to search elsewhere for his needs to be met.
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Pg 32 said "make sure you are looking radiant and delightfully in love." This encouraged me to work on taking care of myself. I know that a big theme in this book is to not look to yourself and to rid yourself of selfishness...I'm not implying that I need to eat bon bons and get a manicure every week....I just mean that in order to serve my family the best that I can, I can not neglect my own health. My health has been quite bad the past 2 years (heart problems and also diagnosed with a severe case of a disease unrelated to the heart problems). Severe pain, chronic pain, medications, and two surgeries later, I've put on weight, am out of shape, and am still in pain. I felt encouraged by this chapter to still do whatever I can to work hard at making myself radiant to my husband not only for my own sake but for his. When I asked him this past week what I need to work on, what he thinks my weaknesses are, what I need to do for him that I'm not doing, he said that the only thing that would really help is being healthy but that he knows I can't cure myself of an incurable disease. But that made me realize that how important it is to him to have me be the healthiest I can be to take care of him and the kids. Yes, I can't cure myself and yes, I'm limited in what I can do physically but I still need to do everything I can to be the healthiest I can be. I need to work on getting back into my exercising now that I'm almost recovered from my last surgery.
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Also from this chapter I felt encouraged to reintroduce some of the old romance we had in our marriage, especially the early years. I don't know about the rest of you but we are in the survival years of life....parenting! =0) My husband and I were talking the other night about how we used to do so many little romantic things for each other and how now that has turned into doing things for each other just to survive and get through the week. Instead of love notes we write down grocery lists for each other. Instead of a surprise little gift, it's the surprise bill to pay, instead of a planned spur of the moment outing together, it's the spur of the moment doctor visit with one of the kids. So, we've both been making an effort to bring back those little things into our marriage. This week I sent him a love note in the mail at work since the week before he said that he didn't even remember what my handwriting looks like since we always email. He loved the card and as a response bought me a little gift just because. I hope to surprise him next week with his favorite coffee drink at work from his favorite place. So, my goal is to try to come up with one thing a week....I've been brain storming and would appreciate any ideas from all of you too! =0) Baking his favorite things, preparing his favorite meals, unexpected back rub, notes in his lunch, his car, on his bathroom mirror, etc.
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I'm noticing that sometimes romance takes work and isn't convenient! I was also encouraged that Debi listed things in this chapter that I already do that I didn't realize made such a difference or meant so much. It was so nice to be encouraged with that! Hurray! I'm doing something right! LOL
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Chapter 3~ don't worry, I have less to write for this one.
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The thing that grabbed me the most was the contentment issue again....the "living with stained carpet" jumped out at me as I looked down at my terribly stained carpet! Don't you just hate that when an author writes something so specific to you! We bought a 4 year old fixer upper. Yes, only 4 year old house and we are the 3rd owners and it had been a rental. Yep, it's already a fixer upper and it came with stained carpet. We'd both love to tear it out and put in hardwood flooring but financially we have to save up for it especially since we are still paying off my surgeries. Anyway, it's hard enough for him to be content with it without my complaining about it. In my mind, my complaining was justified because we both agree that it's bad. I wasn't going against him but I was breeding discontentment and frustration when I could have been encouraging thankfulness and patience. It's funny how when we were first married I never expected much but somewhere along the road, discontentment made me expect more. In the early years, our little tiny apartment was all I needed but now I'm anxious about getting new flooring and the yard re-landscaped. So, I need to remember that contentment is the key to joy.
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The phrase "Queen of my heart" is special to me because that's what he used to call me. It just has new meaning now that I've studied this chapter.

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Using the Blue Letter Bible site that Jessica recommended, I was reminded of this verse that uses the same word for joy as it does in many of the verses Debi quoted having to do with "merry heart". Psalm 113:9 "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, [and to be] a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD."
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Hope you all have a wonderful weekend as you serve our Lord and your husband.